i really do
by words-with-dragons
Summary: A oneshot comprised of missing Rayllum moments in S3. Massive spoilers for the whole season.


i really do

It was only when they were outside of the canyons, crafting a campfire, that Rayla saw Callum shiver. He didn't get cold often—indeed he had his jacket—but she supposed she _had_ stolen his scarf.

"You want it back?" she asked, her hands going to the scarf around her neck. It was warm and soft and admittedly pretty smelly—but there was a strange comfort in its scent, and she almost missed it as she began to take it off.

"What? Oh, it's fine—"

"You're cold, aren't you?"

"I'm fine," he insisted, his mouth clamping as he tried to hide another shiver. Rayla couldn't help but smile, and she already had the warmth in her chest keeping her as she unwound his scarf from around her neck and draped it back around his, adjusting it so it wasn't too tight.

She poked his cheek with one finger. "I'm an elf," she said. "I can manage better than you can."

It didn't bring a smile to his face like she'd hoped. Instead he looked rather thoughtful. "Is everyone in Xadia going to… hate me that much?"

Her face fell. Sol Regem. "Not everyone is as angry and bitter as him," she said. "But...it's true, that no one here really...trusts humans."

"Yeah," Callum said. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess we're both outliers now."

Rayla smiled at him, and he slowly smiled back at her. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

"I know," he said softly. "Even if you might let me catch a cold."

"Hey, I gave you your scarf back, didn't I?"

"I guess so," he smiled. "Though didn't you say it was your good luck charm now?"

"Well, you're here with me. As long as we keep it between the two of us it should keep working, right?"

Callum chuckled, shaking his head. "If anyone needs good luck, it's Zym." He gestured over to the baby dragon scampering around the small outskirts of their campsite, his tongue lolling out. "He hasn't caught a single moon moth all day." And not for lack of trying either.

"Are you going to donate your scarf then?" she played along. "To the wee dragon's cause?"

"Well I guess that's the sort of 'noble and true' human I am, right?"

Rayla's cheeks grew warm, but her smile grew as he draped his scarf around Zym's tiny shoulders when the dragon wandered nearby. Zym glanced down at the red material, before nipping at the loose end.

Callum nudged his muzzle away. "Hey, don't tear it," he said in a slight whine.

"Why do you have a scarf, anyway?" Rayla asked. "Ez never had one…"

"Oh. Um...my dad gave it to my mom. That's what she told me when she gave it to me, anyway."

"Your birth dad," Rayla clarified and Callum nodded.

"It's all I kinda have left of him. I don't remember anything else, so…" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Well…" She mulled over the right thing to say. Callum was usually better with words than she was (and somehow also worse). "Thank you, for letting me wear it."

He smiled a little. "Yeah, um, it's no problem. And if you ever wanna wear it again, you can."

"Maybe after you've taken a bath," she said, wrinkling her nose fondly at him.

"I mean, you don't smell too dainty yourself."

"I do have to do more of the running and fighting than you, excuse me—" It was almost nice to bicker over something that didn't matter, after all the high stakes they'd maneuvered with even entering into Xadia in the first place.

Their bickering died down when their fire did though, and Zym curled up on Callum's lap. Rayla supposed that left her to be the one to find firewood; she didn't want to disturb the dragonling.

"Wait," he said, taking her hand. "It's colder out there." He let go, then gingerly took the scarf off Zym. "Take this."

Rayla's heart melted. "I'm alright."

"Just while you're out. Good luck, remember?"

She smiled, slowly taking it. Her fingers brushed his, her hand still burning with the warmth of his hand when he'd held it as they'd stood together in front of Sol Regem. "Good luck," she repeated quietly, and she didn't trust herself to say anything else as she wrapped it around her neck before leaving their little camp.

Something inside her suspected it wasn't the scarf that was bringing her good luck.

###

She didn't know why she'd kissed him. It had been a stupid, idiotic thought—little better than an impulse—and worse still, it seemed that her running away to the water to cry pathetic tears had given Nyx the window she'd needed to steal Zym. And now all they could do was wait up until morning in an awkward, stilted, silence because Rayla had been an idiot on every front, and everything was still her fault, no matter what Callum said.

She couldn't even fall asleep to try to pass the time, and Callum hadn't gone back to sleep either, instead poking at the fire and stealing glances that he thought she didn't notice. She'd never seen him this quiet, even if there wasn't much to talk about, except the incident on the shore, and—no no nope, not doing that. She really would kill him for it.

"Rayla?" he said finally, and she tried to school her expression into something… steady, as she looked up at him from where she sat on a log by the fire. "I'm sorry."

"Oh." Her cheeks warmed. About the kiss. Well, it wasn't his fault that he didn't return her feelings, it just—

"I should've brought Zym with me."

She blinked. "What?"

"When I followed you. I shouldn't have left him there. I just wasn't thinking, but I was in a better mind to than you were, and—I'm sorry. I should've been paying better attention."

"Oh, no, it—I shouldn't have run off in the first place. It was stupid."

"You were upset," he retorted, a bit shortly. "That's not stupid."

"It's stupid that I let it get to me, if I had been more focused on the mission—"

"It's not stupid to let yourself feel things. You spend so much time dismissing your feelings, and you've been through so much the past few days—I just didn't want you bottling it all up. Your feelings are important too."

Rayla's throat tightened. Even her feelings for him?

"There's a saying that humans have, and it won't quite fit, but—you're only human, Rayla, do you get what I mean? Everyone has their limits, emotionally, physically. You can't keep pushing 'em all the time or you'll… break."

"I don't break—"

"I know you wouldn't, for a long time. You're strong. But it would chip away at you, till you crumble, and...I told you, you're too good for that. And it's a lot easier for me to take care of you if you're not in pieces, too."

Rayla softened, and she drew her knees up to her chest. "It's not your job to take care of me."

"No. But maybe I want to anyway." He tried for a smile. "That's what friends do, remember?"

_Friends._ She frowned a little, even if she knew it was unfair.

"Best friends, anyway," he added. That nearly made Rayla smile.

"'M not used to it, I guess. I don't know."

"I mean my best friend growing up was my brother, so… I've never had a friend like you before, either. Best friend or otherwise." Callum cleared his throat. "So we can figure it out together, can't we?"

"I suppose so." She glanced up at him, her cheeks growing warm. "Thanks, for coming after me." She rubbed her arm. It hadn't ended well, but… "I appreciate it."

His voice grew soft. "Yeah. And, um...we're okay, you know. I mean, in general. I'm not talking about anything in particular since, uh, you don't want to. I'm just… I'm good. If you are."

Rayla narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm doing quite dandy," she said. "Unless you keep talking."

Callum shut his mouth and gave her a big thumbs up sign.

Was it pathetic that it made her heart flutter, that his gesture endeared it, anyway? She bit her lip to keep from smiling. It wouldn't do her any good anyway.

###

She could only watch, spellbound like a fool, as Callum came closer, his face as soft as his voice as he looked at her. She'd thought one speech from him the previous night had been enough. She hadn't expected another. Especially with how that one had ended, but it seemed he wasn't done yet, even when any pretense of the conversation actually involving Nyx turned null, as he turned to her, his eyes earnest as he looked at her.

A soft breath escaped his lips. "You are so…"

She waited for him to finish the sentence, but he never did, as he closed the distance between them instead. She held back a soft gasp, frozen for a moment, her chest overflowing with warmth. His lips were warm too, soft but firm against her own, and she could feel the difference from last night, when he was responding rather than caught off guard. Rather the way she was now, even if she managed to apply a little pressure back once her brain and her heart had caught up with everything, but it was almost too late, Callum already drawing away.

"Oh no," he began, but a smile was already threatening to break across her face. "I'm so...I'm sorry, I just got carried away. Next thing I knew, my lips were getting way ahead of me, and—"

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes, not even trying to take the fondness out of it.

"What?"

She grabbed his scarf, pulling him closer. What an idiot. A brilliant, kind, wonderful idiot that really was all hers—she looked at him for a moment, her heart thumping in her chest. No turning back now. Her eyes met his for maybe the fraction of a heartbeat, before she leaned in and kissed him, this time good and proper, and she felt Callum melt into it. Respond. Her heart sang.

He rested his forehead against hers when she pulled away, just to look at him for a moment. His cheeks were tinged with a soft pink, and his eyelashes were so, so long, when they were this close. His hand came up to her back, holding her closer, and she found herself reaching for his heart before she could stop herself. She felt it beat underneath her palm; it was racing just as quickly as hers.

"Wow," he exhaled, and she smiled. Their eyes closed. Neither had to reach so far this time; all they had to do was tilt their heads, and they were kissing again, his arms wrapping around her waist to pull her close. Rayla never wanted to pull away. His mouth was warm and soft and a little bit chapped, and she couldn't help but smile as he shaped it over hers. Even his small fumbles made her head spin, and she gripped a little harder at the back of his jacket, his arms feeling more and more like home.

She'd lost one home in choosing to side with the princes and the egg over the other assassins, but maybe she'd gained another, along the way.

She finally pulled away for a quick breath, her heart fluttering when his lips chased hers. "Callum," she breathed.

He hummed, his eyes on her mouth before they flitted up to meet his gaze. "Yeah?" His voice cracked a little and she was close enough to see his cheeks flushed.

She smiled a little. "Just… need to breathe, a bit."

"Wanna sit down?" he asked. His voice was soft, at that low timbre that sent tingles down her spine.

"Sure." They had to pull apart a little to move, and she tucked her hair behind her ears, now suddenly very aware that they'd been well, making out for lack of a better word, and that was Nyx was still somewhere nearby. Unperturbed it seemed, up on the ambler's saddle closer to its head. She let him take her hand, and they sat down knee-to-knee against the support of the main saddle, their fingers locking.

"Hey." He nudged her in the side. "What's on your mind?"

"It's nothing," she said, smiling widely. Giving his hand a squeeze. "It's… the other night, when I kissed you, if you… why didn't you…?"

"You were vulnerable. And I wasn't expecting it, either, and… I don't know. I got flustered and put my foot in my mouth. I wasn't trying to make you want to kiss me… even if I did—do?—want you to want to… kiss me."

Rayla chuckled softly, her forehead brushing his. "I thought you didn't…"

He ran his thumb over hers. "Didn't what?"

"Like me, like that."

"Would you be relieved to know that the main reason I acted like an idiot yesterday is because I like you like that probably too much?"

Rayla smiled. "It wouldn't hurt." She pressed her forehead lightly against his.

"I've wanted to kiss you for a while," he admitted. "Kinda wanna kiss you again right now."

She flushed. "Only kind of?" she managed.

Callum gave her a lopsided grin. "I'm trying to play it cool."

She hummed. "I don't think it's working," she said, her breath shallow before she kissed him again.

"I mean," Callum mumbled, and she managed an eye roll because it was an interruption, "I'm not trying very hard."

"You talk too much." She reached up with her free hand, cupping his jaw. It was nice to be able to do so, in its own way, and feel confident in it. His cheek was round and smooth, and felt calmer than it had the last time she'd touched his face like this, during his battle with Dark Magic. She smiled when he kissed her, his other hand resting at her waist. She rested her head on his shoulder when she pulled away this time, and he pulled her into his side, letting out a soft sigh.

"Rayla?"

"Mm?"

"When did you start liking me?"

"I like you?" She laughed when he gave her a look. "I don't know. We've been so busy that I haven't exactly been able to keep track. The day we went down the river in the boat was the day I realized you could be my friend. Then, when you got sick, I realized… that I liked you a whole lot, but I don't quite know when that _started_." She offered up a tiny smile. "You've seen for yourself I'm not always the most in touch with my emotions."

"I think I kind of always liked you," Callum considered, and Rayla blinked. "Y'know, after you stopped trying to kill me."

"That was all it took?" she asked, nearly snorting.

"You're beautiful enough, so yeah. And then you ended up being really funny, even when you were making fun of me, and really kind, and good with Ez, and…" He smiled at her. "It just took me a while to figure it out, but I think it was there pretty early on."

"So you really didn't know until…?"

"Last night, yeah. I don't think I even knew it was an option, and then when it was… I didn't feel like I knew for sure, and I didn't want to hurt you by giving you an untruthful answer, or…"

Rayla took his other hand, running a finger down his palm. "I'm sorry if I made it harder on you. I know I can get… snappish and defensive."

"Your bad moods don't bother me. You're cute when you're grumpy and angry… so long as you're not grumpy or angry with me, and even then, there's a little bit of wiggle room."

She let out a soft snort. There were slight calluses on his thumb and index finger, right where a pencil would go. "You were annoying, at first," she reflected, "and annoyingly endearing."

"Yeah?" he grinned. His fingers closed around hers.

"Yeah," she said, rolling her eyes fondly. She slipped her fingers through his.

"Well, then it looks like I'll be around to annoy you for a long time."

Her heart fluttered. "You better." Their eyes met, and he leaned in, the gesture now becoming familiar, when she yawned and he drew away with a slight laugh even as she blushed.

"Tired?" he said, his smile soft.

"A little." She smiled softly, pecking him on the lips anyway. "Goodnight, Callum."

Her heart swelled when he rested his head on her shoulder. "Goodnight, Rayla."

###

The spire was beginning to empty, and Callum glanced back near the entrance to the Dragon Queen's quarters, where Rayla was sitting with a resigned Zym on her lap. She was looking at the dragonling with soft eyes, her mouth moving as she tried to give Zym a reassuring smile. Callum couldn't help but smile himself; she could be so, so gentle, when she wanted to be.

_I love you._ His throat suddenly tightened. He hadn't been able to tell her up on the Pinnacle—Soren had interrupted—but maybe there was time for it. Before they had to separate for the battle, each pacing out their worries on the Spire while the majority of the battle would be fought down below.

He walked over to her as the last of the people left, sitting down next to her.

"Hey," he said, his voice a little softer than he'd meant for it to be. Rayla gave him a tiny smile.

"Nervous?" she asked.

"A little," he admitted, but it wasn't exactly for the coming battle.

She took his hand and tangled their fingers together. "You'll be fine. You're already such a talented mage, and…" She squeezed his hand. "Just stay safe, okay?"

"I will," he said. "And, um…" He swallowed hard. "Rayla, I just want you to know, I—"

"Callum?" He nearly swore when he heard Gren's voice, and looked up to see Aunt Amaya at the entrance of the spire with him. "It's time to get into position."

"You can tell me later," Rayla smiled, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before letting go of his hand.

"O-okay." He tried to smile. He couldn't just tell her now, just leave it when he had to leave so soon, but… "See you later?"

"See you later."

Callum took a breath, his head (and definitely his heart) still up near the top of the spire as he descended closer to the base. He'd tell her, soon. He'd just have to make sure no one passed this point, and everything would be fine.

And if it wasn't, then… they'd go down together, and she'd know anything, through his actions more than his words.

###

It was a long time before their feet touched the ground. He wrapped his wings around her as they pulled apart slightly, both letting out breathless laughs as their foreheads pressed together.

"I still can't believe you can fly now," she murmured. His wings faded back to arms, and he wrapped them tighter around her, holding her closer.

"Me neither. Guess we'll have to try that again later?"

"Oh, definitely." Her smile softened, her brow furrowing as her hand rose and touched his cheek. "Thank you, for saving me."

He leaned into her touch. "Someone has to," he murmured, "with you always saving everyone else."

"Just try to not risk your stupid human life quite so much next time?" she said with a hint of amusement, her eyes gleaming.

Callum rubbed his nose against hers. Giddy, before he leaned into kiss her again. "No promises. I love you."

Rayla sighed against him, content. "I love you too."

###

"You don't have to come home."

It was quiet at the Spire, moonlight filtered through the clouds as Callum sat at the pinnacle. Amaya and everyone else was leaving tomorrow. The Sunfire elves were staying—his aunt and the elven general, Janai, had promised to stay in contact with regular military reports—to help the Dragon Queen. And so was Rayla.

So it was understandable, perhaps, that Callum couldn't sleep. He just hadn't expected Ez to follow him.

"Ez? You should be in bed."

His little brother just sat down beside him. "So should you." Ez looked at him carefully. "So?"

"'So' what?"

"So why aren't you?" Ezran nudged him. "I know why I'm here."

Callum rubbed at his eyes. "I can't sleep, but I'm okay, really." A little cold up here in the wind, but he'd left his scarf with Rayla, so she wouldn't worry if she woke up and saw he was gone.

"Do you remember when I decided to go back to Katolis?"

A beat. Callum looked at him. "I do."

"And I knew that I had to, because I'm the crown prince." There was a stubbornness set in Ezran's face. "But you're not the crown prince, Callum." Then a reconsideration. "Well maybe you are now because I'm the king, but the _point_ is—" Ezran placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know you said you'd come back and help me, but you don't have to, now."

Callum inhaled sharply. "Ez—"

"I know Ibis would be willing to take you on as a student. And the new Dragon Guard will be here. Including Rayla."

He sighed. "Alright, I'll admit, I've been...thinking about that. It. Her." He ran a hand through his hair. "But Dad told me to—you're—we're the only family we have left."

Ezran smiled. "I think we're building a new family." Of humans and elves and dragons maybe, but a family all the same.

He flushed a little, but smiled back. "You're sure you're okay if I don't come back home?"

"I think you'd be leaving home, if you came back with me." Ezran looked up at him, a resolved glint in his young eyes. "I don't think I need any help with being king. But if I do, you're just a letter or dragon flight away. Or your own wings, I guess. But you're never going to get a chance to learn magic like this again, and—I know that's just a bonus for you, anyway."

Because deep down, they both knew if he stayed, it'd be for her. Callum sighed. "You're sure?" he checked again.

"Yes. And I think the fact that you're even having this conundrum is one of the reasons she loves you."

Callum hugged him. "I love you." He held his brother tighter. "Thank you, Ez. I'm… so proud of you."

Ezran hugged him back happily. "I'm proud of you too. And I love you." He drew away with an impish grin. "You know we're only saying goodbye _tomorrow_, right?"

Callum shook his head. "Not goodbye. I'll see you again soon. Fly over and visit, right? Maybe bring Rayla along. She's had a sore lack of jelly tarts in her life."

Ezran beamed. "We do have a lot at the castle now."

He held his little brother by the shoulders. "_Thank you_, Ezran," he said again.

"Just make her my sister in law in five years, and we'll call it even."

Callum blushed, but he smiled a little. "I'll do my best."


End file.
